Walmart little accident

Today we had a little incident at walmart, Benny had a poopy diaper, I went to the closest bathroom to change him, they were closed. I walked all the way to the back of the store ( Super walmart ) The changing table was in a very bad position, right in front of the door. So I carefully put him in it and made sure to watch anyone that would come in. There were a few times people bumped into my but with the door as they come in. I was getting angry, so I changed him and made sure to place him on my hip facing towards me so if anyone opens the door it wouldn't hit him. Well it happened anyways, and the door bumped the side of his head and left a red mark. I was furious, I immediately called asked them to call the general manager. I spoke with him and filed a complaint. Ben is fine, he didn't even make a noise, I don't even think he noticed the door bumped his head. But just the fact that it did and the changing station was in a very awful position I had to do something about it. How dumb are they? I am not racist but whoever built that bathroom and placed the station and sinks etc were either a dumb ass or a freaking illegal Mexican who didn't spoke English and had no prior experience on anything. UGH!!

Anyway, I have been loosing my temper so easily lately, everything or anything will tick me off. Not just that but a single ant bite will make me cry. So hormonal, so emotional, so full of life's bull crap. I woke up already crying, my husband as mush of you know who is in Afghanistan, wrote me a very sweet email, there I already started my day crying. Then a friend sends me a link to a video she told me I must watch, well turned out to be a very sweet video, but not what I needed to see. I video made for military wives, yes just not something that will help me go through another day knowing where the man I love is, the father of my little precious boy! I have faith, I know he will be home safely soon, but it still very difficult knowing I wont see him anytime soon. Knowing he is seeing his son grow up through pictures, knowing I will lay my head on my pillow and lay in an empty bed every night until his return! Its just not simple easy as many think or may believe it is. My friends always tells me, at least you have your son! Yes I am very happy I have him, but it also makes it more difficult because he is his father, and when he does something new I cry wishing his dad was there to see it. I hug my son every night, I pray with him and cry, because right now he is all I have to hold on to! There are reminders everywhere. But I know he needs to do his job, I understand why he is there and I know he is good at what he does, but that doesn't fill the emptiness in my heart! I consider myself lucky to have him as a husband, he is my hero, our hero! He also gave me not only a perfect little boy but a very sweet and caring extended family who is always there for me, but no one will ever be Larry!! I will hold on to everything I have till his returns home back to us!!!

Wow I did nothing but rumbled, thanks for listening. Today was not an easy day!!

Sleep...dreams...happy

For months I have forgotten what that word means, but recently (last night) Ben finally let me dicovery what sleep means again! Yes he slept all night, when I say all night, I mean it!.

He goes to bed every night the same time around 8:30pm the most 9pm. Last night i put him down just before 8:30pm and he didnt wake up until 7:12am, I could not believe it!! What a miracle! And the best part was that I was able to sleep too. Lately I have been having trouble falling asleep or even staying asleep. There have been a few nights when Ben sleeps 4-5hrs before he wakes up and yet he wakes up right after I have fallen asleep. There has been a few nights that I actually stayed in bed, trying to sleep until 2-3am. Other times just not really asleep, tossing and turning all night. But I slept like he did, went to bed around 9:30pm and dont remember waking up at all, I even dreamed. Wow I dreamed!!!

I hope he continues to sleep this way, Benny is finally feeling better, he is almost over his sickness and I think his teething is not bothering him as much. He only have a runny nose and a cough here and there. Im so happy he is feeling better and a happier baby! Happy baby means happy mommy =)

To my sweetheart!!

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Start....

I have a few friends and family members who have blogs, I always thought it was a nice idea, but I cant never keep up with it. Larry got me a journal to write on it while he is gone so he can catch up to it when he is back, that worked pretty good the first month, I haven touched it in weeks. But Im always in front of the computer, so Im going to give this a try and do my best to keep up with it and write everything that happens with Ben and I while Larry is gone. It is also an awesome way to family and friends to stay updated on what is going on with us without me having to write them an email everyday! So lets see how well this will go!