Wednesday, September 19, 2007


OK I was told by a friend today that I may have OCD...haha I had to laugh, but now thinking about it, DO I REALLY HAVE OCD??

Well Benny and I got into a really good scheduale, and I hate to change or to have something happen to where it gets on the way. I have had times that I canceled something or said no to something because it was either too close to our nap time or by Ben's bed time. This is not OCD?? Is it?

Our daily routine: We get up around 6-7am, I change him, talk to him, make him laugh, choose two outfit and ask him which one he wants, he sometimes just looks at both for a while before touching which one he does, so I patiently wait =) Then I put him on his outfit, we go downstairs, I make him a bottle, we sit on the couch and watch cartoons for about 1hr. Then we play on the floor and around 8-9am we nap for about 30-40minutes. Then we go to the gym, come back around noon, play, watch some einstein DVD and around 2pm he naps again, and I go do house chores or sit in the PC if all the things are done. Then he wakes up 1-2 hrs later and we play, talk, go outside check the mail, and around 5pm he takes a small nap. And if he doesnt fall asleep by 5:30pm he is not allowed to nap because his bedtime is 8:00-8:30pm the most and I wont let him nap this close to bedtime or I wont sleep, then I get ready, read some emails and I am in bed by 10pm. And this is our routine, we do this everyday, the same time, sometimes running early or late by 10 minutes but never more. And I am very picky about this, I rather just not get out of the house to stay on our schedule, this is not OCD? And yes I hate dishes on the sink and some things have to be the way I like but everyone have this and still not OCD....well I dont think so at least!!

You know I just had a thought, I wonder how things will be when Larry is back, he is so not a schedule guy, he is always doing things on the last minute and absolutly hates waking up early or going to bed early. I really hope he will adjust to our schedule because I am not planning on changing ours!! Ben have it so good that when its getting close to either his feeding time or nap time he already starts rubbing his eyes and giving the sign cry. I have had days where I was either at the doctor or something and he took his nap later or fell asleep in the car when its not time to, and those days are the worse. He wakes up so many times at night, is more fussy, irritated and just not happy! Seems like those who dont have kids or dont have a schedule, seems to just not get it....

You get it right??

Well its 9:30 and I need to get ready,....almost sleep time!! Good night!!

Silent Ranks

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the ones who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man And the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.
I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Military Wife !

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Next 45 Days

Larry is going on a mission that will last 45 days and he wont be able to email or call =( He said he might be able to call me once or twice a week if we get lucky!!! Extra prayers needed for all of us....

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Our Hero

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

Walmart little accident

Today we had a little incident at walmart, Benny had a poopy diaper, I went to the closest bathroom to change him, they were closed. I walked all the way to the back of the store ( Super walmart ) The changing table was in a very bad position, right in front of the door. So I carefully put him in it and made sure to watch anyone that would come in. There were a few times people bumped into my but with the door as they come in. I was getting angry, so I changed him and made sure to place him on my hip facing towards me so if anyone opens the door it wouldn't hit him. Well it happened anyways, and the door bumped the side of his head and left a red mark. I was furious, I immediately called asked them to call the general manager. I spoke with him and filed a complaint. Ben is fine, he didn't even make a noise, I don't even think he noticed the door bumped his head. But just the fact that it did and the changing station was in a very awful position I had to do something about it. How dumb are they? I am not racist but whoever built that bathroom and placed the station and sinks etc were either a dumb ass or a freaking illegal Mexican who didn't spoke English and had no prior experience on anything. UGH!!

Anyway, I have been loosing my temper so easily lately, everything or anything will tick me off. Not just that but a single ant bite will make me cry. So hormonal, so emotional, so full of life's bull crap. I woke up already crying, my husband as mush of you know who is in Afghanistan, wrote me a very sweet email, there I already started my day crying. Then a friend sends me a link to a video she told me I must watch, well turned out to be a very sweet video, but not what I needed to see. I video made for military wives, yes just not something that will help me go through another day knowing where the man I love is, the father of my little precious boy! I have faith, I know he will be home safely soon, but it still very difficult knowing I wont see him anytime soon. Knowing he is seeing his son grow up through pictures, knowing I will lay my head on my pillow and lay in an empty bed every night until his return! Its just not simple easy as many think or may believe it is. My friends always tells me, at least you have your son! Yes I am very happy I have him, but it also makes it more difficult because he is his father, and when he does something new I cry wishing his dad was there to see it. I hug my son every night, I pray with him and cry, because right now he is all I have to hold on to! There are reminders everywhere. But I know he needs to do his job, I understand why he is there and I know he is good at what he does, but that doesn't fill the emptiness in my heart! I consider myself lucky to have him as a husband, he is my hero, our hero! He also gave me not only a perfect little boy but a very sweet and caring extended family who is always there for me, but no one will ever be Larry!! I will hold on to everything I have till his returns home back to us!!!

Wow I did nothing but rumbled, thanks for listening. Today was not an easy day!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


For months I have forgotten what that word means, but recently (last night) Ben finally let me dicovery what sleep means again! Yes he slept all night, when I say all night, I mean it!.

He goes to bed every night the same time around 8:30pm the most 9pm. Last night i put him down just before 8:30pm and he didnt wake up until 7:12am, I could not believe it!! What a miracle! And the best part was that I was able to sleep too. Lately I have been having trouble falling asleep or even staying asleep. There have been a few nights when Ben sleeps 4-5hrs before he wakes up and yet he wakes up right after I have fallen asleep. There has been a few nights that I actually stayed in bed, trying to sleep until 2-3am. Other times just not really asleep, tossing and turning all night. But I slept like he did, went to bed around 9:30pm and dont remember waking up at all, I even dreamed. Wow I dreamed!!!

I hope he continues to sleep this way, Benny is finally feeling better, he is almost over his sickness and I think his teething is not bothering him as much. He only have a runny nose and a cough here and there. Im so happy he is feeling better and a happier baby! Happy baby means happy mommy =)

To my sweetheart!!